Does a long grief mean I’m not resilient?
Updated: Jul 13, 2019
Resilience in grief demands that we take the time we need.
Think about the deepest kinds of physical wound: a gun shot, a stab wound, an open-heart surgery, or an amputation. Does this kind of injury heal quickly? And yet, the deepest physical wound heals more quickly than the severing of human relationship.
In my faith, there is the belief that, when two people marry, they become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). They merge their lives and fuse together. It’s a beautiful concept.
So when one of us dies, there is a tearing apart of that one flesh. One is physically severed from the other. The survivor has to heal from that emotional, psychological, social, and spiritual amputation. How quickly does that heal?
If you’ve born a child from your own body, or grown him or her in your heart through adoption, and that child dies, that part of your heart feels ripped out of you. How fast does that wound heal?
If you’ve loved a parent for your whole life, with the first breath that expanded your chest, and then that parent dies and leaves you behind to breathe alone, how quickly can that heal?
Must we be in such a rush?