What is braver than stepping in to a new life without the person you’ve loved? What is more courageous than living with empty arms, in an empty house, sleeping in an empty bed?
Scott would often tell our kids that bravery isn’t living without fear. It’s stepping out in the face of fear. It’s doing something that scares the living daylights out of you. It’s leaning into the distress instead of hiding away from it. He’d tell them that being brave means getting back on that horse after he throws you.
I watched my children, ages 13 and 17, walk down the middle aisle of the church toward their father’s casket that morning of the funeral. They were terrified of all that this would entail, and they walked towards it anyway. I was astounded by their bold act of bravery.
And you—as you get out of bed in the morning after a night of tossing and turning and choose to make coffee and brush your teeth and go to work, even as your heart is aching for your child—you are the most courageous person in this world.
You, my friend, may feel anxious, shaking, terrified, but your daring act of stepping into a new day is pure guts and valor.
This is what makes you resilient.